A voz do morto – Fabio Santiago

Chegou a notícia que eu morri. Que não faço mais parte do jogo da vida.

Como estou morto se o coração ainda bate?

A notícia chegou por um amigo: – Você está morto!

Se morri, não existo. Se não existo, o que faço aqui?

Tento argumentar: – Como assim, de onde tirou isso?

Meu amigo é imperativo: – Você está morto!

Serei eu um Quincas Berro D’água, personagem da novela do Jorge Amado, sendo levado pelos amigos aos bares da cidade, como um cadáver andarilho?

Se morrer é isso, me sinto ainda vivo.

Peço que ele venha até a minha casa.

Ainda avisto o meu reflexo nos espelhos da casa, vampiro não posso ser, talvez morto-vivo ou zumbi. 

Talvez exista vida após a morte, mas se ela existir… então nunca estivemos vivos, estaríamos tão mortos quanto um pedaço de carne verde esticado no chão de uma casa. Nunca existimos? Então isso não é a vida?

Há nessa afirmação de meu amigo sobre a minha morte um bocado de significados escondidos.

Ele chega, está no portão, pálido, aflito, com olhos de choro.

Noto o seu arrepio quando me vê, parece estar diante de um fantasma.

Evito olhar para ele, pergunto se gostaria de sair para beber com um morto.

Diz que podemos ir tomar alguma coisa em um barzinho próximo daqui.

– Você já bebeu com um cadáver?

Balançou a cabeça negativamente, deixando claro que serei a sua primeira experiência fúnebre.

– Se estou morto, preciso pagar a conta?

– Faço questão de pagar!

Ele me diz como se fosse um último afago ao que partiu.

Dizem existir regiões no país, em que as pessoas bebem o morto ou para o morto. No meu caso, sou o morto bebendo para mim, já que estou morto, segundo o meu amigo.

Pergunto para ele:  – Onde você viu isso?

– Isso o quê?

– Que estou morto.

– No obituário do jornal.

– Mas que nome constava lá?

– O seu.

– Meu nome é um tratado de tão comprido.

– Hum, pode ser que você esteja vivo.

– Será que estou?

Começo a gostar dessa história de estar morto.

– Somente no obituário? Nem uma notinha no final de uma página? Que tristeza este mundo, somos vultos que só interessam a poucas pessoas. Aparecemos em um jornal se for por uma tragédia ou crime.

Ele me diz que é possível que eu esteja vivo.

– Não, amigo, eu estou morto!

Bebemos mais algumas doses. 

– À morte e à morte, meu caro.

Agora quer ir embora, cansou de beber com alguém que não existe. Talvez esteja decepcionado por estar bebendo com um não morto, com um coração que ainda bate.

– Até que estou bem para um morto?

– Sim, está.

– Ao menos isso.

– Talvez eu tenha confundido. Não sabia que o seu nome era composto de vários sobrenomes.

– Você tem o hábito de ler obituários?

– Sim, é o nosso segredo.

Será que ainda sangro? Melhor não testar. Será que a melancolia finalmente me larga?

Abro o WhatsApp no celular, repasso para alguns amigos a informação que morri. Na verdade, vou até a página do jornal que divulga os obituários e envio a publicação.

O morto só tem nome e sobrenome, de fato não sou eu, estou vivo ou um morto-vivo?

“A voz do morto”, do Caetano, na voz de Aracy de Almeida, começa a tocar no rádio do bar.

Caminho pelo calçadão, percebo cada centímetro de sua arquitetura. Talvez seja a última vez.

Alguém sorri para mim, devo ser um morto simpático.

Estou andando, ainda não morri.

Vou parar no próximo bar, tomar a saideira, quem sabe amanhã é o enterro.

Fabio Santiago nasceu em Maceió (AL), em 1973, e está radicado em Curitiba (PR). Publicou os livros A marca do vampiro (compre aqui, 2023), Cantos temporais e Mar de sombras, ambos em 2022, Versos magros (2021) e Intramuros (2020). É formado em Comunicação Social e criador do blog Acre infuso, ativo desde 2004. Redes sociais: @fsantiago006 (Instagram) e Fabio Santiagoc (Facebook)

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